Life goes on
I was 29 and I had recently found exercise, I was a member of a bootcamp and lost 2 stone, I was running 5 miles a day and at the peak of my fitness looked great and felt great.
Two weeks before my 30th birthday, I had pain in my groin I thought I had injured myself running so ignored it until it got to the point I couldn't ignore it any longer and it turned out I was pregnant, but unfortunately it turned out to be eptopic and I had to have an emergency operation. I was devastated as me and my hubby had been trying for a few years and it was the whole point of my exercise journey. My mental health plummeted and I was very unwell for a while afterwards, but I knew I had to carry on and get better so I put on those running shoes and I trained for a half marathon, something to keep me focused and it worked. Then my world came crashing down again when I was 33 my husband Mark died of a heart attack at 35, there was no warning he just collapsed and died; my heart was shattered I considered suicide and was severely depressed I was put on antidepressants I just couldn't see my life carrying on without Mark. But with help from my family and friends I soon got back to an OK place and started a new job and tried to carry on the best I could. Eventually I met someone else, Alex we were together for 3 years he was a gym buff so that got me back into exercise and I was able to lose just under a stone that I had gained but unfortunately again Alex died from pneumonia and again I was devastated I thought I was cursed and had a breakdown and was poorly for some time... My head is slowly getting better and I know these things didn't happen because of me but I'm still grieving I still cry myself to sleep I miss them both so much. I have gained 2 stone and have really found it hard to motivate myself I can't afford the gym but I have started by trying to get my steps in everyday and trying to build it up from there. If I won a Peloton it would help me so much, I haven't given up on life just yet.